Week 8 - Hometowns Here We Come!

Zzzzz... oh, sorry, did I nod off?  ...probably because with the lack of any backstabbing, name calling or snarky patronizing comments I've become slightly bored.  

Oh how I miss the Olivia, Leah and Lace's of the show.  Everyone left is just too nice. 

It's gross.

What's that?  Hometowns are this week?  Well hells yah!!  There's always bound to be some crazy with hometowns!!  Wonder who has the nutty family this season!!?  (oh please oh please oh please let there be a family full of scary freaks!!)

Famous last words... 

Hometown #1... Amanda and Ben met up on the beach so he could finally be introduced to his new ready-made family.  No pressure... Daddy.

We also learn during this date that Ben runs like this:

Must have been the short shorts.  Who wears short shorts? Ben wears short shorts.  

Witness  the faces of every parent, or non-parent, as a child wails in the backseat of the car on the way home after a long day.  #bestdateever

If I'm being critical, which I totally am, I just don't feel the chemistry with Banda - ooohh, that's good.  Well now I hope they do get together so I can use Banda more!  But I am doubtful since their chemistry is lame.

Hometown #2... 
Lauren's date is in Portland, the land of the roses.  Well, there you have it.  

To top it off she takes him to the one place you could NEVER take a child (sorry Amanda)... they enter the Whiskey Library as Ben salivates and falls even more for Lauren.  Well played Lauren, well played.

Look how he's always touching her and the way he looks at her.  

As far as I'm concerned she's in the lead with JoJo  a close second... Banda could be a distant third, but doubtful, and to be honest, I tend to forget the other girl's name - you know, what's her name... the one that is always smiling and has "no roots."

On to meet Lauren's family (please be crazy, please be crazy)... 

OK!!  GAME OVER!  Are you kidding me??

Ben got emotional and broke down in front of Lauren's sister over his feelings for her.  

Man tears.  Real man tears.  I. cannot. even.  

Lauren then calls Ben 'her person'.  Ok, time to break out the LaurBen... not sure that one will stick.. I'm trying it out.  Maybe Bauren?  It's got to be better than when her dad calls her LoLo... ugh. Seriously, ugh.

Hometown #3 is that girl that is just so freaking happy... I mean, who is this happy all the time?  I'm willing to bet she dreams in cartoon.

So she wanted to show him where "she grew up as a person"... as opposed to what?  I'm confused.  

Also, she wants to make out with him in their 'toy house kitchen' if he chooses her. Always good to have goals.  She is a 6 yr old with boobs.

At the toy factory...  did this just happen?  The producers really went all out on this one.  Cue the kiss, the music, the clapping workers who had nothing better to do... the Richard Gere reenactment was all too much for me.  I wonder how they talk the Bachelor and his lady into this stuff?

Later, the happiest woman on the planet, Caila, opens up to "daddy" and "mommy" confessing her love for Ben, saying this is what she's been looking for all her life.

Daddy's prediction:

In the end she held back from telling Ben how she really felt.  That could end up being her demise... that and the fact that she's totally forgettable, to me anyway.

Time for JoJo's hometown and if her hometown doesn't bring the crazy I'm gonna give up!  I need some crazy back!  Bring back the crazy!!

Ok, Hometown #4... JoJo returns home and gets some roses and an unexpected letter from her ex professing his love for her.

Ahhhh... ok whew.  I can breathe again.  Yay crazy JoJo ex-guy.  THANK YOU.

I really needed that.  

Well DAMN!  that only lasted a whole minute.  Turns out JoJo is the "happiest she's EVER BEEN with Ben".  She's totally into it.  She's excited.  So much for crazy ex-guy drama.

Oh hell now, wait a minute... 

There's still hope... enter Matt and Ben, the brothers.  Very brotherly brothers.  

Turns out the brothers are very protective and slightly scary.  Like no one would find the body kinda scary.  Brothers are not fans of Ben.  Something tells me any guy would have a hard time getting past brothers.

JoJo keeps it real admitting she's falling in love and is afraid of getting hurt.  She talks with her mom about how there are three other girls involved, a fact that seemed to genuinely shock her mother.   Mama's solution, bring out the bottle!

Mama likie her drinkie.

Then her brothers go into a speech where they constantly remind her that she is their sister, they love her as her brothers because she is their sister and as their sister they need to protect her as her brothers because she is their sister.  It goes on for a while like this.   And then they repeat most of it to Ben.  

Yah, ok, we got it.  Family be tight.  Brothers be scary.

No idea if Ben won over the brothers Grimm, but he did win over JoJo.  They are awesome.

At the rose ceremony Banda is completely blindsided - and I mean, holy blindside!!  

I did not see that coming.  

I suppose it's time I get to know Caila better since... well... she's still here, shockingly. 
She could wind up being another Catherine (Sean's season) and come out of nowhere for the final rose ... but I doubt it.

Anyway, goodbye to Banda - guess it's a good thing that didn't go viral.  Sigh.

I'm going to just take a moment and say my goodbyes... Until next week!

~xo KP