Bachelor In Paradise - Week 2

Strange things are happening in Paradise.  Carly has taken a liking to Evan... Sweet lil Amanda turns heartbreaker, DAMN! Daniel might just be making a real love connection... and Vinny turns villain.

To begin the night no real love matches seem to have taken off.  Just loads of drama.

Leah and her delusions show up in paradise.  She seems to be under the impression all the ladies are her besties, but we find out the ladies are counting down the hours to her goodbye. 

Blanche from "Golden Girls" would like her dress back.

                               
With Leah comes a date card - which she was hoping to give to Chad but since he was kicked out she gives it to "always runner-up" Nick.  He obliges and, in doing so, seals his fate with his real crush, Amanda, but we'll get to that.

The date seems to go well and Leah is smitten.  Nick, not so much.

"Nailed it!"

He quickly gets over Leah and moves back on to Amanda.  Leah has a "single white female" moment after this as Amanda gets ready for a date with Nick (yup, 2 in one day, way to stir the pot producer friends). 

Nick is completely into Amanda and sends Leah right back out the door by giving his rose to his mama-crush, which Carly enjoyed - a lot.

Jared moves on from Jubilee to Emily (plus bonus, Hailey comes with her) but sadly, that means Jubes is heading home.  

Hopefully with more grace than that.  

Lace and Grant seem to be hitting it off.  He's completely forgotten about the Chad affair and the fact that she's slightly crazy.  
                                     

I was really taking a liking to Vinny when he had a moment - I mistook for genuine - with Sarah.  That is until he turned right around and planted a kiss on Izzy.  He then gave Izzy the rose and became a scuzz.  

Grab a front row seat peeps!

Daniel wasn't hitting it off with any of the women, and given the fact that he's an aquired taste himself I'm guessing he's going to have a tough time. 

But he soon shows quite the interested in Sarah.  Hmm... where will this go?

Evan has, to my utter disbelief, found someone in Carly.  

Nooo Carly, say it ain't so!!  You are so much better than this!!!  
                                

Luckily, it doesn't take long for sweet Carly to figure it out.

I mean, that's just barf-in-your-mouth gross!

Jared to Carly:  "You went on a date with a guy and you threw up."  Enough said.

Carly then breaks Evan's lil heart.

Meanwhile, Carly was feeling much better afterward.

For the 3 men watching the show the twins eat bananas for the cameras.
                       

That's exactly how I look eating a banana too.

For the rest of us, Nick works out on the beach.

Thank you!

Just when things seemed to be going well for "Mr. Runner Up", enter his arch-nemesis, Josh. 

                                 

Back story: Josh beat Nick to Andi Dorfman's heart in the finale of The Bachelorette.  Josh and Andi got engaged and have since broken up... Andi has written a tell-all book that after this episode I need to read!  But in it, she claims he was verbally abusive.  Yikes.

"Best publicity for her book ever!" - Andi probably

No surprise, Josh quickly swoops in on Nick's fav, Amanda.  She falls for his charm and super smile and they go on a date.

                               

She believes everything he says and they suck face - a lot.  And Nick likes to watch - a lot.       

                   

Most annoying fact: Josh makes "mmm" sounds when kissing.  Yuck!

                               

I genuinely hope this mama of two doesn't regret that decision the way Andi did.

Best to just drink it all away.

Sarah finds friendship with Daniel.  It's cute but not gonna last.

In comes Christian.  Our motorcycle-ridin', super cute boy.

                                   

                                            

I love that Sarah has two men after her.  

She and Christian go on a date and she gets a GoPro strapped to her helmet.  

It's unfortunate.  

Super flattering.

That being said, Sarah continues to amaze me.  This girl stands up for herself, is confident, knows what she wants and can repel down a freakin' cliff!  Any guy in paradise would be lucky to get her.  

Just wow.  I am in awe.
                         

Sarah and Christian seem to have hit if off but when she gets back DAMN! Daniel makes his move.  
He's actually endearing as he professes his admiration of her and flatters her.  They are cute, she, somehow, gets him.  I'm baffled, but not as baffled as the Carly/Evan situation so... 
                                         


Hailey, the lesser-sought-after-twin, lands a date with some imposter who claims to have been on Desiree's season but who Chris Harrison doesn't even recognize.  
                                    
The mystery bachelor claims to know the difference between the twins so they pull the ol' switch-a-roo.  He notices nothing.

                                     

Evan grows a pair of ... let's say grapes... and decides to write a date card for Amanda.  He's all worked up, feeling confident and ready to go.  He honestly thinks he can break up the tongue diet Amanda and Josh have been on.  I am cringing for him.

                            

Something tells me this isn't going to work out well for lil Evan.

Dun Dun Dunnnn.... stay tuned for the embarrassing demise of Evan's manhood, what little there is of it.

                           

   

Until next time, I'm going to take this moment to say my goodbyes.

~xo KP

Bachelor In Paradise: Hurricane CHAD

                                                                   Yes Yes Yes!!!
                                    

 

Bachelor In Paradise is back for another drama-filled season and I am super excited.

Jubilee, who I adored on Ben's season is heading to the beach along with the twins, and Paradise favourites Carly, Sarah and Jared.

Oh and of course...
                                
What could possibly go wrong??


Things start off ok, Jubilee has learned a lot about her resting bitch face, the twins run around the beach holding hands and Daniel (conveniently captioned "Canadian") does a lot of analogies about the moon and falling off cliffs and I'm not really sure.  He's also extremely picky when it comes to looks... really not the best representation of Canada.

Thankfully, we have this:                
                           


Evan spends a majority of his time on Paradise obsessing over Chad.  And he hasn't even arrived yet!
But when Chad does finally arrive it's all kinds of drama.

On JoJo's season I found Chad's behaviour amusing, funny even.  This time around I just found his behaviour absurd and uncomfortable.

Things started out ok...

But his 2 hr relationship with Lace was explosive.  She was playing along and giving as good as she got until things just got out of hand.  I was cringing through most of their exchanges.

                           
                           

Everyone seemed nervous and anxious as they listened to things escalate.  The Chad Bear evolved into Hurricane Chad and everyone was in his way.

Sarah seemed to be the only person in paradise willing to call him out.  He threw back an extremely low blow her way, which she handled with grace.
                           

Thankfully the next morning Chris decided it was time for the hurricane to blow out.
                               

Needless to say, Hurricane Chad didn't take it well.  Something tells me the first 10 mins of the next episode will focus on Chad's departure.  Much like last time.


Onto the rest of the group.

 Thankfully Carly is still awesome and hilarious.  I am so happy she's back.

Also, "always the runner-up" Nick is back.                       

The Canadian and one of the twins seem to be making a match - look how excited she is about the high five.  This one's gonna last for sure.
                                      
                  
Jubilee gets the first date card and asks Jared, her crush.  They go on a date full of piñatas and a scary ass Mexican clown freaks the hell outta the war vet and her date.

I mean, could Jared possibly move any faster!??

                
In the end the first night is a complete train wreck - to quote Chris Harrison.  Next time we will find out if Chad makes a graceful exit or not.  My guess, not so much.  Hurricanes usually leave a mess in their wake.

Until next week, I'm going to take this moment to say my goodbyes.

~xo KP

FINALE: The Final Rose

This is it... after weeks of watching Chad eat deli meats, Evan poke The Chad Bear, Derek bawl in the limo and like, Luke say "like" a whole lot, it's finally time for JJ to make her decision.  

Will she pick the guy with the great hair and strong jaw line or the guy with the great hair and strong jaw line?  It's very hard to say - I can barely tell who's who!
                                              
First, the guys get to meet JJ's mom, dad and scary brothers, who sadly, weren't scary at all this time around.  They're just really, really, really attached to her.

                                          
JJ tells her family about being in love with both guys and really lays it on thick.
Jordan's meeting goes well, he brings hats - that's fun - and doesn't ask for her hand in marriage.
                               
                                         

Robby meets the family and blows them away with all his love - AND asks JJ's mom AND dad for her hand in marriage.  Scores huge points with the family ... after hearing this JJ leans more towards Jordan and disappoints the fam.
                                  

This is when I knew she would pick that guy with the great hair and jaw line.  I called it.

The guys go on to pick out rings...
                                    
JJ cries over her torn gut...

                                  

In the end JJ decides to crush Robby's heart into a million pieces.  But first, she goes on a final date with each guy.  On her date with Robby he talks about the future and burning the dinner.  

On her date with Jordan she admits she's not sure he's ready to be engaged.  He somehow puts her mind at ease by saying he'll prove to her he's ready.
                                  

JoJo worries about hurting Robby... 

                                          

And things got slightly awkward after The Final Rose... 

                                     

And then things got real when Jordan proposed and they lived happily ever after.  Or did they...  (awkward hug time)

                                     
So, to recap, Robby was the smart choice but JJ fell for Jordan.  He proposed, got down on one knee even - which is shocking because that was the tightest skinny suit I've ever seen!

                                                
JJ says she's happy but I kept feeling slightly awkward about this "happy" union the entire time I was watching.  It didn't feel like she was all in.  

At the After The Final Rose, JJ talked about how difficult it's been to have everyone against their relationship - tabloids printing he's a fraud.  Hmm... 

She certainly didn't scream IN LOVE during the episode.  Maybe she was being choked by her dress?
                           
Jordan says he's moving to Dallas to be with her immediately.  I hope the best for these two, but I'm not holding my breath for an ABC televised wedding any time soon.

Time will tell.

Ok peeps, things are gonna get good now!!!  Time for BACHELOR IN PARADISE!  Bring on the crazies!!!  I'm am really looking forward to this!

Until then... I'm going to take a moment to say my goodbyes.
~xo KP