Bachelor In Paradise: Hurricane CHAD

                                                                   Yes Yes Yes!!!
                                    

 

Bachelor In Paradise is back for another drama-filled season and I am super excited.

Jubilee, who I adored on Ben's season is heading to the beach along with the twins, and Paradise favourites Carly, Sarah and Jared.

Oh and of course...
                                
What could possibly go wrong??


Things start off ok, Jubilee has learned a lot about her resting bitch face, the twins run around the beach holding hands and Daniel (conveniently captioned "Canadian") does a lot of analogies about the moon and falling off cliffs and I'm not really sure.  He's also extremely picky when it comes to looks... really not the best representation of Canada.

Thankfully, we have this:                
                           


Evan spends a majority of his time on Paradise obsessing over Chad.  And he hasn't even arrived yet!
But when Chad does finally arrive it's all kinds of drama.

On JoJo's season I found Chad's behaviour amusing, funny even.  This time around I just found his behaviour absurd and uncomfortable.

Things started out ok...

But his 2 hr relationship with Lace was explosive.  She was playing along and giving as good as she got until things just got out of hand.  I was cringing through most of their exchanges.

                           
                           

Everyone seemed nervous and anxious as they listened to things escalate.  The Chad Bear evolved into Hurricane Chad and everyone was in his way.

Sarah seemed to be the only person in paradise willing to call him out.  He threw back an extremely low blow her way, which she handled with grace.
                           

Thankfully the next morning Chris decided it was time for the hurricane to blow out.
                               

Needless to say, Hurricane Chad didn't take it well.  Something tells me the first 10 mins of the next episode will focus on Chad's departure.  Much like last time.


Onto the rest of the group.

 Thankfully Carly is still awesome and hilarious.  I am so happy she's back.

Also, "always the runner-up" Nick is back.                       

The Canadian and one of the twins seem to be making a match - look how excited she is about the high five.  This one's gonna last for sure.
                                      
                  
Jubilee gets the first date card and asks Jared, her crush.  They go on a date full of piñatas and a scary ass Mexican clown freaks the hell outta the war vet and her date.

I mean, could Jared possibly move any faster!??

                
In the end the first night is a complete train wreck - to quote Chris Harrison.  Next time we will find out if Chad makes a graceful exit or not.  My guess, not so much.  Hurricanes usually leave a mess in their wake.

Until next week, I'm going to take this moment to say my goodbyes.

~xo KP

FINALE: The Final Rose

This is it... after weeks of watching Chad eat deli meats, Evan poke The Chad Bear, Derek bawl in the limo and like, Luke say "like" a whole lot, it's finally time for JJ to make her decision.  

Will she pick the guy with the great hair and strong jaw line or the guy with the great hair and strong jaw line?  It's very hard to say - I can barely tell who's who!
                                              
First, the guys get to meet JJ's mom, dad and scary brothers, who sadly, weren't scary at all this time around.  They're just really, really, really attached to her.

                                          
JJ tells her family about being in love with both guys and really lays it on thick.
Jordan's meeting goes well, he brings hats - that's fun - and doesn't ask for her hand in marriage.
                               
                                         

Robby meets the family and blows them away with all his love - AND asks JJ's mom AND dad for her hand in marriage.  Scores huge points with the family ... after hearing this JJ leans more towards Jordan and disappoints the fam.
                                  

This is when I knew she would pick that guy with the great hair and jaw line.  I called it.

The guys go on to pick out rings...
                                    
JJ cries over her torn gut...

                                  

In the end JJ decides to crush Robby's heart into a million pieces.  But first, she goes on a final date with each guy.  On her date with Robby he talks about the future and burning the dinner.  

On her date with Jordan she admits she's not sure he's ready to be engaged.  He somehow puts her mind at ease by saying he'll prove to her he's ready.
                                  

JoJo worries about hurting Robby... 

                                          

And things got slightly awkward after The Final Rose... 

                                     

And then things got real when Jordan proposed and they lived happily ever after.  Or did they...  (awkward hug time)

                                     
So, to recap, Robby was the smart choice but JJ fell for Jordan.  He proposed, got down on one knee even - which is shocking because that was the tightest skinny suit I've ever seen!

                                                
JJ says she's happy but I kept feeling slightly awkward about this "happy" union the entire time I was watching.  It didn't feel like she was all in.  

At the After The Final Rose, JJ talked about how difficult it's been to have everyone against their relationship - tabloids printing he's a fraud.  Hmm... 

She certainly didn't scream IN LOVE during the episode.  Maybe she was being choked by her dress?
                           
Jordan says he's moving to Dallas to be with her immediately.  I hope the best for these two, but I'm not holding my breath for an ABC televised wedding any time soon.

Time will tell.

Ok peeps, things are gonna get good now!!!  Time for BACHELOR IN PARADISE!  Bring on the crazies!!!  I'm am really looking forward to this!

Until then... I'm going to take a moment to say my goodbyes.
~xo KP

Week 9 ... Let the Drama Continue

When last we left off JJ was torn (that's right, I'm now too lazy to add the o's to JoJo), Luke, like, finally admitted he was in love with her, which is exactly what she needed to hear and she was just about to send him home.  Now, conflicted, JJ must get back to the rose ceremony.

Here we go...

We return to JJ crying on the tarmac... unfortunate.
                              
And then, with all the dramatic music playing, she sends like, Luke home.  Too little too, like, late Luke.  
It was slightly awkward at the goodbye... JJ was holding onto him crying while he stared blankly off into space, dumbfounded.  And he just kept saying "like, I don't understand, like, I thought... like like like"... maybe I won't like, miss Luke so much.

                              
After the Luke goodbye the 3 remaining guys and JJ head off to Thailand.  

JJ is very protective of her heart following the last season.  
One her date with Robby she struggles with her feelings and his.  JJ is afraid of letting the walls down, she's afraid of getting hurt again.

Ben breaking JoJo's heart.

JJ and Robby make their way to the fantasy suite and the music becomes uplifting as Robby and JJ profess their love (to producers) about each other as they head off to have sex.  Have fun kids!

The next morning JJ is full of all the love for Robby.  She's keeping a lid on it because she still has a couple other guys in the wings - but he definitely seems the front runner.  I'll admit, I did not expect that.

                               

Jordan gets the second date, second night and tough to compete from the sounds of it.

Jordan and JJ head into a sacred temple and can't suck face.  It's a big deal apparently that the two can't kiss for the amount of time they spend in the temple.  Soon, kids, soon you'll be doing a lot more than kissing in the fantasy suite.

                   

Time to get down to the "real" questions with Jordan.  JJ asks him what the future looks like annnndddd he doesn't have an answer.  
                  

The best part: Jordan says he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and she tosses it back in his face with "that's what Ben said."  Wow.  Just wow.  Ben has legit ruined this poor girl.

"How do you know you want me?  How do you know?"  JJ is really grilling Jordan... or so I thought.  But once he gives a vague, I just know, answer she caves.  
Weak JJ - very weak.

                         

Chase, at this point, really has no chance.  I never really felt the bond between them anyway... but I could be wrong.  Hell, she kept Evan around for a while and I didn't think he'd get past the first night.  Hell, he shouldn't have made it past the producers.

Oh Evan.                                           

Right before her date with Chase our bachelorette admits to producers she's in love with Jordan and Robby.  
So basically, bye Chase.

                                                               
Didn't help Chase's cause when Robby crashes the middle of his date by secretly visiting JJ at her hotel room.   Well played Robby, well played.

                                          


Awkwardness ensues as JJ leaves Chase sitting on the couch in their fantasy suite after professing his love for her.  He even says he doesn't want to live in a world without her.  Deep.  She lets him sit on that one for a bit before coming back in to hand him his heart.

Shake it off Chase, shake it off.
                                           

And then there were 2.

Down to Jordan and Robby.  I don't like either.  Damn.  

Good luck JJ.  I don't give your relationship, no matter who you end up with, much hope.  Jordan is too into himself and Robby isn't over his last relationship.  Yikes all around.

Men Tell All next week!
The Chad Bear is back - let's get to poking!!

                                         

Until next week I'm going to take a moment and say my goodbyes.

~xo KP

Week 8: The Hometowns

Hometowns are here and we're off to Colorado first with Chase.

Chase's mom decides she loves JoJo immediately and is definitely a big fan of her son.

Annnnddd... I have nothing else to say about this hometown because it bored me.

                                        

Now we head to ... somewhere... for Jordan's hometown.  He lives in a place where the deer and antelope play... actually there's no antelope, just deer.

                                         

Jordan takes JoJo to his old high school and they immediately make out.  

                                     

Jordan's mom talks in whispers for some reason.  And JoJo spends most of her time trying to get to the bottom of why she won't be getting free tickets to a Packers game anytime soon.

                                           

JoJo wants to express her love for Jordan but Ben has scared her off.  Understandable.

Last season's heartbreak flashback

                                          

Over in Florida, Robby is excited to "see his girlfriend."  

JoJo expresses her concerns ((red flag red flag)) about his recent break up.  Then, after refusing to say any form of "L" word to Jordan, she expresses the fact she's falling for Robby to his mother.  This leads me to believe things are going to blow up in her face.

                                   

Robby tries to reassure JoJo about his ex, she drinks away her fears.  I like her style.

                                       \

Move over Robby, like, Luke is next in line.  Let the like, chemistry flow... 
Ok, I had no idea just like, how "down hoe country boy" Luke was.  That's like, hot.
                                        

And am I, like, the only one who has noticed, like how much like, Luke likes to say "like"?  It's like, a lot.
And also, he's like, such a like, romantic.  Cue the, like music.
                         

Finally, time for the rose ceremony and cutting the list down to 3... but wait... 
In a dramatic turn of events... JoJo says she's cutting Luke - that is until he pulls her aside just before the first rose is handed out.  Luke, like, admits he's in love with JJ.   And dun dun dunnnnn.... she doesn't know what to do anymore. 

To be continued... 

                


Until next week, I'm going to take a moment and say my goodbye.

~xo KP

                                         

Week 7: Gaucho On My Mind

Week 7 almost time for Hometown dates!

3 one-on-one dates this week and one group date - with only one rose up for grabs... let the drama begin.

The first solo date goes to Alex... so "he can stop bitching" and hopefully lose the chip on his shoulder and enjoy himself.  

Alex's date isn't exactly going well... ouch!  No chipie kissy for you!

                                            
                                   
 The best part of Alex's date was the cut-away to the other guys on the bus rapping about how short he is!

"Dude's so short he needs a stool to get in it" - Guy's rap

To make matters worse for Alex, they dress him like a "gaucho" - which is supposedly a very manly look in Argentina.

                                           

What is happening here??  

                                          

                                          

Shockingly, she's turned on by the look - also, is that horse dead?  

And then Alex admits he's falling in love with JoJo and she looks like she's looking at a dead horse again.  

That reaction - priceless.

                                            Bye Alex.  

Jordan gets the next one on one in a vineyard.  Sounds delicious, except for that time they drank crushed grapes they had just stomped on.  Mmmm feet juice!
                   

We learn on the date Jordan doesn't speak with his brother.  At all.  Bummer, I was really disappointed to learn this because the previews really made it sound like he was going to drop some huge news that might put his status on the show in jeopardy.  Such pathetic news.
                   
After this admission he also drops the "L" bomb.  That decision didn't go well for Alex but for Jordan it works.  JoJo is on top of the world as the music intensifies.  
                                

The group date is rained out and JoJo is forced to change the plans - deciding to "kick it" instead.  Food, games and activities - the "perfect slumber party!"  Which translated into JT plying fries into his mouth, always attractive, and Robbie gettin' naked.  Nice.

                                                                                                                            
While watching TV James lets it be known that he calls Robbie "WER" - Wandering Eye Robbie ~ James is stirring things up, yay!  Robbie is pissed... things are about to get ugly up in here - according to Robbie.

I can't wait!


RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG - Robbie talks about his 4 year relationship that ended, badly, just FOUR MONTHS AGO.  That is a total red flag to me.  He's not over things.  Time for lil lady to move on.
                                 
Or at least that would be MY reaction.  But I'm not JoJo - or JoJo is not me.  That's evident.

BUT Robbie goes on to tell the guys he's the front runner.  Hmm, maybe I'm way off base.  I'm still a fan of James Taylor.  He's adorbs!
                   

And then she boosts Robbie's confidence by giving him the group date rose.  Shocking.  Well, she's been totally unpredictable the whole time for me, starting when she kept Evan around.
I just don't know what is going to happen.


Luke and JoJo go on their second one on one date.  Their chemistry is pretty hot.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Luke is the real front runner here.  

Sadly, for me, James T, Mr. Adorbs, was sent packing.
Sniff.
                                             

So... until next time, I'm going to take a moment and say my goodbyes.

~xo KP